Most of us have been taught, in subtle ways, to ignore our bodies. These unintended lessons were primarily given to us by well-intentioned adults when we were very young. We were expected to follow the structure of the day regardless of the sensations we felt in our bodies.
As adults, many of us continue to dismiss what our bodies are telling us. We go through the day chipping away at our to-do lists without paying attention to any inconvenient sensations we are feeling.
While we cannot be led by every feeling, if we consistently ignore the body's messages there may be a price to pay. Slowing down for just a moment to notice these signals will help us honor and take care of our bodies.
Ignoring Our Bodily Sensations
Do you remember the scene in Wonder Woman where Diana asks why Steve's watch is ticking? Steve explains, “Because it tells time. When to eat, sleep, wake up, work.” She responds with a simple, “You let this little thing tell you what to do?”
We can learn a lot from her response, but first, let’s look at the ways you may have been taught to ignore your body.
- Having to wait until mealtimes to eat.
- Being required to clean your plate.
- Waiting to go to the bathroom until between classes.
- Being taught to hold back when you have to pass gas.
- Having our feelings minimized, dismissed, or punished.
- Being pushed to keep going when we were tired and in need of rest.
What About Learning Self Control?
Many people think children need to learn these lessons to function properly in the world. While there is some truth to that, there is a way to honor both the body and social norms.
We don’t need to follow these sensations impulsively. It is possible to recognize what our body is telling us without acting upon it. When we recognize its messages and consciously choose our response, we honor our body.
Examples of Honoring the Body in Daily Life
Listening to your body can help you function at a higher capacity in the long run. Noticing the little things your body is telling you now can help you pay attention to sensations that could alert you to significant health issues later. Let’s look at some ways that you can honor your body and still function in our society.
You are exhausted when you wake up in the morning but have to get to work.
- Take a moment to recognize how your body feels - Do you have itchy eyes, a heavy head, an aching body, etc?
- Assess the situation - Can you do anything to get more rest now? If not, that’s okay. Just recognize both what your body is telling you and the reality of the situation.
- Make a plan - If you can’t respond to this message now, you may decide to honor your body by going to bed early that evening. Or you could do something relaxing (or energizing) during lunch.
- Note - If sleep is difficult for you check out Are You in a Sleep Deficit and The Magic of an Oura Ring.
It is time for lunch, but you are not hungry.
- Take a moment to recognize how your body feels - Is your stomach rumbling? Are you having trouble focusing? Are you lightheaded or shaky?
- Assess the situation - Is this your only chance to eat or can you push lunch back a while?
- Make a plan - If your lunch consistently comes before you are hungry, consider rearranging your day. If that is not possible, perhaps you can eat a light lunch and plan to have a snack in the afternoon.
- Note - People with certain medical conditions or mental health concerns will have to take special precautions (those with diabetes or anorexia, those with a history of trauma, etc). If you are dealing with any of these issues, please feel free to talk with me. I will try to connect you to some helpful resources.
You have a strong emotion in a situation with another person (sadness, anger, fear, etc.).
- Take a moment to recognize how your body feels - Is your stomach in knots? Is your face flushed? Do your eyes sting with tears? Are your muscles tight? Is your breathing restricted?
- Assess the situation - Is there a way for you to appropriately express your emotions? Can you remove yourself from the situation for a while? Consider the relationship you have with this person, the strength of your emotions, and possible outcomes before taking action.
- Make a plan - Maybe you are in a position to talk things through in the moment. Perhaps you are not able to address it now but could come back to the issue at a later time. You may decide that some situations are best not addressed at all.
- Note - Another way to honor yourself in these situations is by taking time for self-care like talking with a friend, journaling, or doing something special for yourself. For more ideas on dealing with challenging emotions check out Moving Through Difficult Emotions.
You have been feeling constipated recently.
- Take a moment to recognize how your body feels - Are you having to strain? Is it painful to use the restroom? Have you been feeling bloated or gassy?
- Assess the situation - Have you been drinking enough water? Have you been eating enough fruits and vegetables? Are you giving yourself enough time for regular bathroom trips? Do you need to focus on breathing and relaxing your sphincter rather than pushing?
- Make a plan - Maybe you need to change your schedule to give yourself more time to use the bathroom. Perhaps you need to be intentional about hydration or dietary change. You may want to consider using a squatty potty. (You can buy the classic 7” white squatty potty here or an adjustable height bamboo squatty potty here.)
- Note - Journaling may help you to find patterns and determine what strategies to try. If you want some guidance to address this, feel free to bring it up at your next appointment.
Exercises to Reconnect With the Body
There are entire practices devoted to helping you get in touch with your body (yoga, meditation, somatic experiencing, etc.). Here are some ideas to get you started.
- 5 senses exercise - Settle in a chair and take a few relaxed breaths. Draw your awareness to 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.
- Body awareness exercise - Get comfortable sitting in a chair with your feet on the ground. Notice the chair supporting your body and the ground supporting your feet. Focus on your breath. Don’t try to change it, simply notice the quality of it. Slowly open your eyes and look around.
- Self-compassion guided meditation - choose one of the compassion meditations by Kristen Neff here.
*Don’t be discouraged if you are not able to stay focused when doing these exercises. Simply notice if you get distracted and redirect your thoughts back to the exercise. It takes practice to be present in the moment!
What is one thing you can do this week to get back in touch with your body? Making small changes, consistently, can make a big difference.
Dr. Jamie
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