The second Friday of January has been deemed Quitter's Day. The day is intended to encourage those who are giving up on their New Year's Resolutions to keep pushing towards their goals even if they do not do it perfectly.
Many view it as failure when they do not meet all of their goals; it can be a painful experience, leading to embarrassment and shame. But, what if we could reframe the experience of "failing" by looking at the bigger picture?
Most of our success is a process. We don't wake up knowing new skills; we need practice. So, ask yourself if failing is simply a footstep on the path to greatness. Are there ways to modify your goals that will still take you in the direction you want to go?
Let’s explore this topic and see why many leaders deem failure necessary.
Growth From Failure
Think about one of your greatest achievements. Did you accomplish it easily without any challenges? Most likely you didn't because messing up is part of the learning process.
Winston Churchill said, "Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." Accepting our failures as part of a bigger picture helps us from letting discouragement hold us back.
Making a mistake gives us valuable information. When we embrace these mistakes, we can take what we’ve learned and apply it toward achieving our goals. It can also be a chance to reconsider and modify our goals.
Limits of Playing it Safe
Elon Musk allows failing to be an option in his work, saying, "If things are not failing, you are not innovating enough."
Understanding the importance of failing, frees us up to risk, try, fail, and learn more. If you never fail, your goals may be too small. It might keep you from failure but will limit your ability for growth. Achieving greatness inherently comes with the risk of failure.
If we can embrace our mistakes as a part of learning, we will not need to play it safe. We will be free to try innovative ideas with the potential for huge success. No one is good at something the first time they try, but there are benefits in taking a risk!
Failing Forward
Many people seen as the most successful were often considered failures at one point. Did you know that Howard Schultz was rejected for a loan 242 times before he secured the funds to start Starbucks?
I like the term "failing forward." We fail forward when we keep persevering despite failure, knowing that failing is a part of the learning process. Embracing this truth frees you up to be (and accomplish) all you can be!
So, when you start to feel like a failure, remember the words of J.M Barrie who authored Peter Pan. He says, “We are all failures - at least the best of us are.”
What would you try if you knew you wouldn't fail? How can you embrace failure, knowing it is part of the process?
Dr. Jamie
Most people do not realize how good their body should feel. Lack of energy, stomach issues, and pain have been accepted as a normal part of life. I am here to tell you that it is not normal to live with these symptoms.
Do a little exercise and ask yourself what aches and pains you have accepted as normal. Write down two or three things that stand out to you. If nothing comes to mind, keep reading and try this exercise again when you are done with the article.
If you have a formal diagnosis, this question can be especially important. It is easy to believe that the diagnosis means your symptoms will be part of your permanent story. But, this does not always have to be the case.
We need to begin by looking at the bothersome symptoms you may face. They may tell us something about how your body performs basic human functions. When one of your basic functions is not optimal, it can lead to unpleasant symptoms.
Let's consider what these symptoms may be trying to tell you.
Issues to Address
- Hydration - Can you urinate without discomfort? Is your urine a “normal” color? If you are unsure, check out the following chart.
- Digestion - Can you take in food and process it normally? Do you have regular pain-free bowel movements of proper consistency? Check out the following chart if you are unsure if your stool is “normal” or not.
- Nutrients - Are you giving your body the nutrients that it needs? Are you eating foods that lead to inflammation within the body? Do most of your meals consist of nutrient-dense foods? If you are unsure, let's talk about it at your next appointment.
- Stress management - How often do you feel stressed? What is your tolerance for handling small, medium, and large stressors? If you are unsure, consider how long it takes to calm down if an officer turns his lights on behind you to stop someone else. If you feel the impact hours later, your body is probably not handling stress well.
- Sleep - How many hours do you sleep each night? 7-9? Do you have trouble falling asleep? Do you have trouble staying asleep? If you are not sleeping well, it can drastically impact your immune system and ability to heal. Keep a sleep journal and read some of my blogs on sleep quality.
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It may be a little early to talk about New Year's Resolutions, but many people start to think about them over the holidays. While the new year is a great time to start fresh, accomplishing your resolutions can be challenging.
According to the University of Scranton, research suggests that only 8% of people achieve their New Year's goals. Perhaps people who do not reach their goals are missing some key elements.
Before deciding on outward action, think about who you want to be. What do you want your life to look like a year from now? Do this before you decide on specific resolutions. Once you establish that, you can move on to an action plan. It does not have to be complicated, in fact, simple is often better.
Let’s look at some important principles that are commonly missed and set you up for success!
1. Clarify Your “Why?”
Take some time to slow down and get to know yourself. So often, we rush through life to the point where we lose track of ourselves. We must reconnect with our true selves to set meaningful goals. Notice what you are truly passionate about so that you know what is worth changing in your life. There’s no point in working hard towards a goal that doesn’t align with your values.
2. Know Thyself Deeper
Before attempting a healthy behavior, notice your inner experience surrounding your current practice. What drives your behavior? What does the behavior do for you? If you want to stop eating late at night, pay attention to the feelings you have when you eat before bed tonight. Your plan will look much different if you are hungry rather than if you are trying to cover loneliness. This is crucial if you are going to set yourself up for success. Don’t skip this step!
3. Be Specific
Goals need to be specific to be achievable. John Norcross of the University of Scranton says, “If you can't measure it, it's not a very good resolution because vague goals beget vague resolutions." Rather than deciding to exercise more, say you want to take a walk three times a week during your lunch break. Instead of trying to eat healthier, choose to have a serving of vegetables with 90% of your meals.
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Look at your calendar and think about your typical day. How much time do you spend on the activities associated with your values? How much of your day is spent on things that are not too important to you? If you notice most of your time isn't spent on your priorities, how can you change that?
The first step in making this change is becoming clear about your values. If we are not clear about what matters to us, the wishes of others can overwhelm us. We can use these values as a foundation when making decisions.
You can't do everything; there are only 24 hours in a day. It is not selfish to guard your resources, including time, energy, and money. Even considering the mental load you carry is important. Something may seem super simple, but if it is one more thing to remember, you may still benefit from declining.
Let's ask ourselves, "Does my life reflect my values?"
My Health Is a Major Priority
If I don’t have my health, I don’t have anything. Being healthy is what gives me a great quality of life. I support my health by...
- Eating nutritious food
- Moving my body
- Spending time with friends and family
- Going outside
- Sleeping well
- Reducing stress
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Some of the most cherished gifts are things you can’t wrap to put under the tree. Since most of us don’t need more material goods, I love giving experiences that make lasting memories!
One of my favorite gifts from my parents was a family membership to the DuPage Children's Museum. It was so much fun, and we thought of them every time we went there throughout the year.
When you give an experience as a gift, the key is finding something they will enjoy that fits your budget. It could be a date to a local coffee shop or something more extravagant. The cost does not matter as much as the personalized touch behind it. So, think about the person. How can your gift show them that you know and care about them?
Let’s look at some ideas for experiences your loved ones may enjoy!
Children
Experiences give the child a memory that will last far longer than any toy. Think about getting them a…
- pass or membership to the Zoo (Brookfield and Cosley Zoo are both great)
- membership to a children's museum
- ticket to a new movie (with money for popcorn of course)
- ticket to take the Metra train (into the city or to Toot Toot’s restaurant in Glen Ellyn)
- kid's manicure/pedicure
- ticket to a children’s show at a local theater (Frozen is playing at the Paramount in Aurora, IL)
- ticket to a sporting event
- couple of games of bowling (don't forget the shoe rental)
- horseback riding lesson
- series of swim lessons
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World Kindness Day encourages us to show kindness to strangers, co-workers, acquaintances, loved ones, and ourselves. Twenty-eight countries celebrate the holiday which was introduced by a coalition of nations' kindness organizations in 1998.
Kindness is defined as being friendly, generous, and considerate. It is a key component of living a full and beautiful life. Being kind is the foundation for developing healthy connections with others which positively impact our mental and physical health.
Acts of kindness also release oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. This has a positive impact on your emotional and physical health as well. If you want to feel good, showing kindness is an easy place to start.
Let’s look at how you can incorporate kindness into your life today!
What Is Kindness
Kindness can be quite simple. Incorporating kindness into our lives will not take much time, money, or planning. We just need to be intentional about it. Words of encouragement, a genuine smile, or a compassionate tone can go a long way.
Sharing your kind thoughts is inexpensive and does not take much time. Everyone likes to hear things like, “You handled that situation well. It’s always nice when someone tells you that you have a great smile or that they like your shirt.
It takes no extra time to smile at someone as they walk past you on the street or say “thank you” to a service provider. Even watching your tone of voice when you are in a hurry or upset can show others kindness. These simple things can make someone’s day.
Being Kind to Others
Anita Rani says, “Kindness isn’t big, grand gestures. The small acts of kindness, they’re the important bits.” Chances are the people you feel closest to don’t do grand gestures frequently, but hopefully, they make you feel loved with the little things.
Making a pot of coffee, giving a hug before leaving, sending a quick text, or picking up a small token of love at the store are all ways to show kindness. Anything that shows someone you are thinking about them counts.
According to actor Maureen Lipman, “It’s great to do a good deed a day because you feel better about yourself, but actually the main aspect of kindness, the bit that’s difficult, is continuity. How do you be kind to someone you’re caring for.”
It is easy to take those we care about for granted. Sometimes we treat strangers better than those we care about most. Slow down and consider what you want to communicate to them through your words, tone, and actions.
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