Look at your calendar and think about your typical day. How much time do you spend on the activities associated with your values? How much of your day is spent on things that are not too important to you? If you notice most of your time isn't spent on your priorities, how can you change that?
The first step in making this change is becoming clear about your values. If we are not clear about what matters to us, the wishes of others can overwhelm us. We can use these values as a foundation when making decisions.
You can't do everything; there are only 24 hours in a day. It is not selfish to guard your resources, including time, energy, and money. Even considering the mental load you carry is important. Something may seem super simple, but if it is one more thing to remember, you may still benefit from declining.
Let's ask ourselves, "Does my life reflect my values?"
My Health Is a Major Priority
If I don’t have my health, I don’t have anything. Being healthy is what gives me a great quality of life. I support my health by...
- Eating nutritious food
- Moving my body
- Spending time with friends and family
- Going outside
- Sleeping well
- Reducing stress
Value-Based Schedule
Are you happy with the way you spend your time? Do you spend most of your time on things that contribute to your values or someone else's? If you consistently feel frustrated and unfulfilled at the end of the day, it may be time for a change. We know that sometimes we will have to do things that are not always fun or easy. Sometimes we need to compromise and take one for the team. But, if we continually do this while sacrificing what is important to us, there may be a problem.
Even if our schedule reflects our values, it can be hard to balance everything. Katy Bowman, author of Movement Matters, talks about stacking your life. This is when you do one task that contributes to several goals simultaneously. It is different than doing multiple tasks at the same time. It is planning your activities to fit your goals and priorities more effectively. It helps us get the most out of each hour of our day.
Stacking My Life
Stacking my life helps me use my free time to the fullest. I choose my activities in ways that support multiple values at once. This may look like...
1. Dinners
- Values: eating healthy, spending time with my family, reducing stress
- Activity: prepare healthy food together over the weekend.
- Result: this allows us time together. We have healthy meals prepared for busy nights, so we don’t grab takeout or go out to eat. It also reduces stress because we do not need to figure out a good dinner at the last minute.
2. Free time
- Values: movement, spending time with family & friends, getting outside, reducing stress
- Activities: take my girls on walks, rather than going to the gym. Take a walk with friends, rather than going out to eat.
- Results: this allows me to enjoy time outside with people while getting movement and exercise. This reduces my stress; helping me feel energized, happy, and ready for the next day.
4. Money
- Values: reduce stress (this also gives us more money to invest in our other priorities.)
- Activities: enjoying free or cheap entertainment, buying used cars, living in a house that doesn't overstretch our budget.
- Results: we have less stress surrounding money and can afford more things that align with our values. It prevents us from needing to work extra hours that would take time away from other priorities.
Making Room for Our Values
Living by your values will mean giving up some things you used to do. There are only so many hours in the day, and saying "yes" to one thing means saying "no" to another. Here are some things we have done to live more aligned with our values...
- We used to spend a lot of time watching shows in the evenings. While we still watch some, we often play with the girls instead. Weeknights are also our backup time for preparing healthy food if the weekend is too busy.
- My husband and I have noticed that it is easy to get sucked into scrolling on our phones. Now we try to put our phones away as much as possible and spend time together.
- We try not to eat out at restaurants. Eating out tends to give us less nutrient-dense food and can be more expensive.
What can you do this week to strengthen living by your values? Would the idea of "stacking your life" help?
Dr. Jamie